Sunday, February 20, 2011

Bruins win twice, make some trades, and the Flying Cthulhu!

Which looks more odd?

 Sorry for the delay. I've been somewhat lazy as of late.

The B's opened their road trip with a good offensive night by beating the Islanders 6-3 on Thursday. They then went up to Ottawa and beat the depleted Sens 4-2. You may be saying to yourself "So? They should have won those games." and you would be correct. They beat two of the league's shittiest teams, so nothing too impressive on that front. Their offense is looking okay right about now, but maybe that's because of the sub-par teams they are facing.

The B's have about 23 games left in the season. Chiareli finally landed Tomas Kaberle from Toronto, as well as Chris Kelly from Ottawa, Rich Peverley and some big Slavic retard from Atlanta. The Bruins had to give up Joe Colborne, a draft pick and a conditional pick to Toronto, and Blake Wheeler and Marc Stuart to Atlanta.

The old guys: Don't know Colborne, don't care. Wheeler.... sigh.... Last year I was literally screaming at my TV for the Bruins to trade him, even up into this year a little bit. Julien put him down on the fourth line with Thornton and Campbell, and all of a sudden he knew how to use his size and play physical. His offense improved too. Ultimately, he wasn't consistent enough and down to the ghetto of Atlanta he goes. Stuart was a good Bruin, he just lacked the finesse for the B's to keep him. I loved his physical game, most notably him going out of his way to green light dumbasses with their heads down. He was the odd man out, and if he hadn't gotten injured earlier in the year, he may still be in Boston.

The new guys: Kaberle is here and all our dreams will finally come true. We'll see. This trade has been years in the making so hopefully he will show us why. Chris Kelly.... seems like a nice guy. I don't know shit about him, other than he wears a visor. Ditto for Peverley.

Are these the Stanley Cup winners?

Come on you assholes, win the god damn cup for us. Their Canadian tour continues Tuesday in Calgary.

Also, my hockey team is in the championship game this Friday. Beer money is at stake! Go Flying Cthulhu!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Maple Leafs 4, Bruins 3. Yuck.

Ew. That was ugly. The B's blew a lead, gained it back, and then blew it again with a minute left in the third to lose to the shitty Leafs. I think Timmy's Hart chances are probably gone now, as he looks like a human again.

One thing that I saw that was pretty funny was Wheeler (I think) get into a shoving match with Kaberle, only to stop after realizing who he was shoving, almost as if to say "hey, you could be on our team tomorrow. Lets be friends."

One-Nut Kessel finally scored against the Bruins, and it only took nearly two years. Good job Phil, we're all impressed. Enjoy playing golf from April to October.

The Bruins got Chris Kelly from Ottawa in a very unexciting move. I honestly don't know much about this guy, but who knows, maybe he'll be awesome (doubt it). They got their forward, now they want their defenseman. Will it be Kaberle? We'll see.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Losses to Detroit, the ranting of a crazed fan, fighting in hockey, and the douche bag from "The Hockey News".

Happy Valentines Day. This could be a long post.

Lets get things started with a couple losses to Detroit. The first game I was lucky enough to miss, as Detroit stomped our balls 6-1. Yesterday was a little closer, but Detroit  won 4-2. Detroit looks like a good team and if the Bruins are good enough to make it to the finals, I hope somehow they play Edmonton. The Leafs are in town on Tuesday night, so lets forget about the shitshow this past weekend and focus on Toronto's terrible team.

"Guess what? Hockey has fights. Enough with the fines. Don't like hockey? Get out of it. I can honestly say I disagree with every word that comes out of Pierre McGuire's mouth. How does he have a job? Rape charges, night club murders, beating each other to a bloody pulp in the center of a cage ring, these are nothing compared to the terrible violence of hockey. If you are not a regular hockey game viewer and you decide to watch a game that happens to be covered by NBC, do yourself a favor and put the tv on mute. You will learn more about the sport. Edzo is correcting Thomas's aggressive style now. Oh i'm sorry for a second i thought Timmy was having a record shattering season so far. But yeah i guess his style is not effective. Nothing worse than a jackass blabber mouth, who has no idea what they are talking about. On that note im gonna stop now." 
- Casey, via Facebook.

When taken out of context, Casey sounds insane. But he brings up all good points. He and I will regularly text each other during the games and to say the least, he is not a fan of NBC's coverage, with good reason. NBC tries to water everything down so it has the appeal of baseball for the casual audience, and they end up with a bland, dogshit product (Plus Doc Emerick sounds like a crazy old woman). At least Versus would be better If Joe Beninati would just get his larynx removed by a hooker with a broken bottle.

I could go on and on all day about hockey fights. If you are a fan of hockey and don't like the physical aspect of the game, guess what? You aren't a fan of hockey. Fights happen. Brawls happen. It's the only sport that can police itself. Fighting has been part of the game since the beginning.  All these people saying that these incidents are embarrassing for the NHL (I'm looking at you, Mario Lemieux, you self-rightous prick - see a great article about this here) should be embarrassed at themselves. If you don't like it, go watch soccer. It's basically the same idea as hockey, but with drastically less physicality. There was a recent NHL players poll which saw 98% of players said to keep fighting in hockey. NINETY EIGHT PERCENT. Players want it, fans want it. It's not going anywhere, so stop crying about it. Don't try to turn it into baseball.

There's a writer for the Hockey News named Adam Proteau, and this guy has certainly caught my attention over the last month or so. This asshole actually had the balls to write that Matt Cooke has been victimized by his hit on March Savard. He goes on to state that the NHL encourages players to play on the edge and he shouldn't be held fully responsible for his actions. Next, he said that the NHL season is too long and leads to too many injuries. Okay, so not only is he an asshole, but he's a sissy-boy too. A couple weeks later, he had an article where he condemns the Habs/Bruins brawl because players could "suffer serious injury. In the same article, this piece of shit actually fucking calls out the NHL saying that the recent suspension to Matt Cooke is "an absolute joke and blight on the sport." Now he's a hypocrite too?

Fuck you in the fucking face, Adam Proteau. The Hockey News Twitter consistently retweets his personal Twitter postings (his twitter is @Proteautype). Guess who runs the Hockey News's official Twitter? Adam Fuck Face Proteau. He is giving us the impression that the Hockey News, a respected hockey source, shares his shitty sentiments. Asshole? Check. Pussy? Check. Hypocrite? You bet. Add bullshit liar to that list, too. I know that he will never read this, but this guy had me floored yesterday. End rant.

Just was to say hi to Tom out in the desert (Kuwait maybe?). Stay safe and keep following the B's.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Bruins 8, Canadiens 6: New. Best. Game. EVER.

I have to stop watching the Bruins. Why waste my time? They will never have an awesome game like this ever again, right?

If you are a Bruins fan (you must be, why else would you be here) and you missed tonight's game, you have a couple options. First, the obvious. Second, stop reading and watch "Bruins In Two" on NESN at midnight.

Okay, lets get started. First off I'd like to say HOLY GOD DAMN SHITTY FUCKING SHIT. I have never seen a game like that. Sure, we've all seen the games with the huge brawls at the end, but tonight's game had 14 goals and 192 penalty minutes, including a goofy, awkward goalie "fight". (Note: The official score sheet says 192 PIM, but Campbell's fighting major isn't listed, which leads me to believe this number could go up. Basically this score sheet says that he beat Pyatt's ass and didn't get a penalty, but Pyatt did. The PIM totals will probably change a couple times.) Just off the top of my head, fights by Thomas, Krejci, Thornton, Ference, Boychuk, Thomas and Campbell, plus Horton, Recchi, Marchand and McQuaid tried their hardest to find a willing dance partner.

As I sat down to watch this game, I said to my girlfriend "They're playing the Canadiens tonight; don't expect any fights". This game was chippy and physical from the get-go. After the awesome Dallas game, I thought that they would be all fought-out for a few games. I couldn't have been more wrong. Look, I enjoy the physical part of hockey. I like it when guys stick up for their teammates. I like big hits. I like fights and I REALLY like brawls. But who doesn't? I think everyone can at least agree that it makes the game a lot more exciting. Lately, the Habs have gotten the best of the Bruins, but they turned it around tonight. I couldn't have asked for a better game to watch, and especially handing out an ass kicking (literally) to their most hated rivals. What was there, three seperate brawls? I lost track. You know this is a good game if I immediately go write my shitty article.

The Bruins are the toughest team to play against. I don't care what you say. This is my blog, so I'm always right. This team will kick you in the dick, score 5 goals, then come out and kick it again. Officially, they have the most fighting majors in the NHL this season with 52, and already have 5 more than they did all of last season. This team is willing to fuck you up at any time. They have 16 different players with fighting majors this year, up from 10 last year. Not only can they fight, and fight well, but they are starting to click with the goal scoring, which was a disaterous problem last year. If they add a goal scorer by the trade deadline (Matt Moulson? Mike Fisher? Who knows?), this team could be scarey good.(I just watched the video again. Campbell and Boychuck absolutely tuned up Pyatt and Spacek. Ouch.) If they can continue to just goon it up in every game, expect a lot of room to skate and make plays on the ice. I LOVE the style of play from them in the last couple weeks. They look like a bunch of fucking criminals out there. It's the best, Jerry, the best!

I like when the Bruins score goals too. They matched their season high with goals by Marchand, Seidenberg, McQuaid, and Horton, and both Ryder and  Lucic scored two a piece. Tim Thomas....kinda sucked, but he didn't suck worse than Carey Price and hey, a win is a win.
This wasn't nearly as cool as this picture suggests.
So yeah, Timmy skated out to center ice, much to my delight. I was literally squealing like a teenage girl who just spotted Justin Beiber at the local mall. I was not a fan of what happened next: They each shook hands, poured a glass of lemonade, and laid down for a nap at center ice. Carey was the little spoon.

There you have it. Just mayhem all over the ice. The Bruins play their best when they are kicking ass. I can't wait to see what goons the Habs call up for these two's next game...which is March 8 in Montreal. Expect part II. I'm probably forgetting a bunch of stuff that I wanted to say, but what a good fucking game.

I forgot to mention that I got to meet Chara the other day. He was very nice and very huge, with long, pterodactyl-like arms. I asked him what he said to Steve Ott to get a misconduct the other night. He said "Not much really, you'd be surprised."
Also, feel free to recommend this blog, post it on your facebook, tweet it, etc. I want to feel like my dumb ranting is being enjoyed by some fans.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Sharks 2, Bruins 0.

(No photo today. I'm not going to waste my time stealing a photo online from a reputable source, then editing it in photoshop, then posting it)

To be honest, I didn't rush to put up this post (not that I normally do) but after the other night against Dallas, yesterday's, and all games in the forseeable future will pale in comparison.

This post isn't going to be very long, because there isn't much to talk about. The Bruins played decent, but were unable to score. Their rookie guy scored on a bit of a garbage goal, on a play that i felt should have been stopped due to Recchi getting tripped in front of the opposite goal seconds earlier. The Bruins couldn't do anything on the power play, partially because the Sharks have a very aggressive penalty kill. McQuaid lost a fight. Thorty dropped the gloves with Jamal Mayers (much to my delight. Mayers is a piece of shit), but the hero linesmen had to break it up. LET THEM FIGHT. Timmy played allright. The defense played great. Despite the pluses, the B's just can't seem to beat Joe Thornton and the Sharks.

That's it. The Bruins host les deuchebaguettes on Wednesday. Who knows, maybe we'll see Camalleri/Krejci II. I'm gonna go watch the Super Bowl. Hopefully a rapist won't win this year.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Bruins 6, Stars 3. Best. Game. Ever.

This is what got it all started.

Okay, where to begin? Last time Dallas came to the TD Garden, it was pandemonium. That was back in the 08/09 season, so things like that don't really carry over, right?

One second in the game, Campbell looks to get some revenge on Steve Ott for a chickenshit cheapshot from last season. Despite getting his nose broken, Campbell landed some good ones of his own.

Two seconds in the game, and not to be outdone, Thornton and Barch go at it with Thorty landing uppercut after uppercut in a decisive win. At this point, the Garden crowd is going crazy.

Now a mere four seconds in, McQuaid and Sutherby go at it, and the Lone Wolf promptly ruins Sutherby's shit. TKO for McQ. The Garden crowd is now at a near-riot.

Then you have goals by Lucic and Bergeron, then another fight, this one between Andy Ference andAdam Burish. Another good, quick fight, with Ference getting the TKO. After that, Bergie scored his second of the game, and Thornton added a laser up under the crossbar. You got all that?

And if you missed it:  


In the second and third, it turned into more of a normal game. Seguin and Marchand added goals for the B's. Rask was in net and looked great in the first two periods, but looked shaky in the third. Its good because if the Stars came back from a 4-0 deficit, I was going to have to go on a murder spree.

The Bruins always play their best hockey when they are knocking other teams' dicks in, and last night was no exception. They fought, threw big hits and scored goals, all necessities in my book. The only thing that would have made this game better was if Rask and Lehtonen skated out to center ice and scrapped. I can dream, can't I?

So when did Daniel Paille get this huge chip on his shoulder? He destroyed Raymond Sawada on a hit from the side, and I'm pretty sure he will get a suspension for it. It was a borderline hit, but it's the kind of hit that the NHL wants to get rid of. It looked a lot like the Cooke on Savard hit, only without the headshot. He got a match penalty, but the Bruins were able to kill off the five minute major.

Couple of standout bullshit calls. The first was the 10 minute misconduct for Chara and Ott, for talking I guess? Some of these refs are a bunch of fucking babies. Let them play for Christ's sake. The other was the goal by McQuaid that was called back because of goaltender interference on Wheeler. When I was watching the game and I sent my pal Casey the following text message:
"Oh yeah and that Wheeler goaltender interference is the worst call I've ever seen."
And it was. I couldn't help but laugh. Just fucking dumb. Blah.

The Bruins kicked ass last night. It's one of those games that people will remember for a long time. Remember in two years when the Stars come back to the Garden, snatch up some tickets. The Bruins take on the shitty Sharks tomorrow. They need to keep this mean streak going. Fuck yeah!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Bruins 3, Hurricanes 2: Goodbye Mark and Marc?

“Oh, yeah. I enjoy the constant booing for jumping ship for a couple more dollars.”
Shawn Thornton, on whether he enjoys the Boston crowd booing Phil Kessel
In case you haven't seen "Things Shawn Thornton Has Said", go check it out here.

The All Star Break is over. Lets run down the highlights: Big Z shoots really hard. Record-settingly hard. Timmy fell down, then got his third All Star Game win in a boring game with zero physicality. Final score: 147 to 89. Phil Kessel got picked last. Yadda yadda yadda. I wish they could play Olympic hockey every year.

Stay down.

Anyways, the Bruins are back and got the second half started in the right direction with a good win over Carolina last night. A couple good things happened that we haven't seen in a while: Danny Paille took a break from trying to fight guys who are over 6'3" and scored a goal. Nathan Horton.... well, he scored a goal too. And finally, Looch fought somebody!

Paille had a nice deflection to notch his first of the year. Horton broke out of the slump and finally netted one. Hopefully he can turn this into a nightly affair, similar to the beginning of the season. Lucic fought Jay Harrison, and it was over quick. Not much of a fight because the refs broke it up quickly. Good thing for Harrison, because last time these two fought, Lucic handed him his ass.

Another good thing I saw from last night: Steven Kampfer green-lighting Skinner the Beginner with .02 seconds left in the first. That was quite a nice Mark Stuart-esque shot. Oh yeah, speaking of which...

Marc Stuart. He was a healthy scratch again last night. I think this is pretty much the end for him in Boston. At the end of last year, he was one of three guys I really wanted Boston to re-sign, along with Recchi and Thornton. With Stuart getting hurt and with guys like McQuaid and Kampfer stepping up, it looks like the Bruins will use him as trade bait. I like Stuart a lot. I like the kind of hockey he plays. He seems to have a genuine disdain for his opponents. He loves to catch forwards with their heads down, and is good for some entertaining fights and doesn't back down from too many players. If he does go, I hope they send him to a west coast team so he doesn't punish our forwards. To be honest, I'd rather them ship Ference out (whom I also like), but no one is going to take his big contract. I hope the Cave Man doesn't leave, but it's not looking too good. What a perfect segway...

...Mark Savard! They are talking about shutting him down for the season. I think this is the obvious choice. He's not going to get well enough to be a help to the team. If they can put him on long term IR, then they can use his cap space to get a rental player. One of the names that have been thrown around is Zach Parise. If he is healthy, fuck it, pick him up.

Timmy is having the best year ever so far! Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating:
"Thomas is now dropping jaws in the hockey world from Sunrise, Fla., to Thunder Bay with the greatest season by a goaltender in the modern NHL era through the All-Star break with less than 40 games remaining to be played. Thomas leads the NHL with a 1.88 goals against average, a .945 save percentage and seven shutouts." (From
Looks like my Thomas ass-kissing is well warranted.

The Bruins play at home tonight against the Stars. Hopefully the game goes like it did back in 2008. If you haven't seen this before, watch the whole thing, it's good:

Looking forward to Steve Ott coming back to the Garden!