Sunday, February 20, 2011

Bruins win twice, make some trades, and the Flying Cthulhu!

Which looks more odd?

 Sorry for the delay. I've been somewhat lazy as of late.

The B's opened their road trip with a good offensive night by beating the Islanders 6-3 on Thursday. They then went up to Ottawa and beat the depleted Sens 4-2. You may be saying to yourself "So? They should have won those games." and you would be correct. They beat two of the league's shittiest teams, so nothing too impressive on that front. Their offense is looking okay right about now, but maybe that's because of the sub-par teams they are facing.

The B's have about 23 games left in the season. Chiareli finally landed Tomas Kaberle from Toronto, as well as Chris Kelly from Ottawa, Rich Peverley and some big Slavic retard from Atlanta. The Bruins had to give up Joe Colborne, a draft pick and a conditional pick to Toronto, and Blake Wheeler and Marc Stuart to Atlanta.

The old guys: Don't know Colborne, don't care. Wheeler.... sigh.... Last year I was literally screaming at my TV for the Bruins to trade him, even up into this year a little bit. Julien put him down on the fourth line with Thornton and Campbell, and all of a sudden he knew how to use his size and play physical. His offense improved too. Ultimately, he wasn't consistent enough and down to the ghetto of Atlanta he goes. Stuart was a good Bruin, he just lacked the finesse for the B's to keep him. I loved his physical game, most notably him going out of his way to green light dumbasses with their heads down. He was the odd man out, and if he hadn't gotten injured earlier in the year, he may still be in Boston.

The new guys: Kaberle is here and all our dreams will finally come true. We'll see. This trade has been years in the making so hopefully he will show us why. Chris Kelly.... seems like a nice guy. I don't know shit about him, other than he wears a visor. Ditto for Peverley.

Are these the Stanley Cup winners?

Come on you assholes, win the god damn cup for us. Their Canadian tour continues Tuesday in Calgary.

Also, my hockey team is in the championship game this Friday. Beer money is at stake! Go Flying Cthulhu!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Maple Leafs 4, Bruins 3. Yuck.

Ew. That was ugly. The B's blew a lead, gained it back, and then blew it again with a minute left in the third to lose to the shitty Leafs. I think Timmy's Hart chances are probably gone now, as he looks like a human again.

One thing that I saw that was pretty funny was Wheeler (I think) get into a shoving match with Kaberle, only to stop after realizing who he was shoving, almost as if to say "hey, you could be on our team tomorrow. Lets be friends."

One-Nut Kessel finally scored against the Bruins, and it only took nearly two years. Good job Phil, we're all impressed. Enjoy playing golf from April to October.

The Bruins got Chris Kelly from Ottawa in a very unexciting move. I honestly don't know much about this guy, but who knows, maybe he'll be awesome (doubt it). They got their forward, now they want their defenseman. Will it be Kaberle? We'll see.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Losses to Detroit, the ranting of a crazed fan, fighting in hockey, and the douche bag from "The Hockey News".

Happy Valentines Day. This could be a long post.

Lets get things started with a couple losses to Detroit. The first game I was lucky enough to miss, as Detroit stomped our balls 6-1. Yesterday was a little closer, but Detroit  won 4-2. Detroit looks like a good team and if the Bruins are good enough to make it to the finals, I hope somehow they play Edmonton. The Leafs are in town on Tuesday night, so lets forget about the shitshow this past weekend and focus on Toronto's terrible team.

"Guess what? Hockey has fights. Enough with the fines. Don't like hockey? Get out of it. I can honestly say I disagree with every word that comes out of Pierre McGuire's mouth. How does he have a job? Rape charges, night club murders, beating each other to a bloody pulp in the center of a cage ring, these are nothing compared to the terrible violence of hockey. If you are not a regular hockey game viewer and you decide to watch a game that happens to be covered by NBC, do yourself a favor and put the tv on mute. You will learn more about the sport. Edzo is correcting Thomas's aggressive style now. Oh i'm sorry for a second i thought Timmy was having a record shattering season so far. But yeah i guess his style is not effective. Nothing worse than a jackass blabber mouth, who has no idea what they are talking about. On that note im gonna stop now." 
- Casey, via Facebook.

When taken out of context, Casey sounds insane. But he brings up all good points. He and I will regularly text each other during the games and to say the least, he is not a fan of NBC's coverage, with good reason. NBC tries to water everything down so it has the appeal of baseball for the casual audience, and they end up with a bland, dogshit product (Plus Doc Emerick sounds like a crazy old woman). At least Versus would be better If Joe Beninati would just get his larynx removed by a hooker with a broken bottle.

I could go on and on all day about hockey fights. If you are a fan of hockey and don't like the physical aspect of the game, guess what? You aren't a fan of hockey. Fights happen. Brawls happen. It's the only sport that can police itself. Fighting has been part of the game since the beginning.  All these people saying that these incidents are embarrassing for the NHL (I'm looking at you, Mario Lemieux, you self-rightous prick - see a great article about this here) should be embarrassed at themselves. If you don't like it, go watch soccer. It's basically the same idea as hockey, but with drastically less physicality. There was a recent NHL players poll which saw 98% of players said to keep fighting in hockey. NINETY EIGHT PERCENT. Players want it, fans want it. It's not going anywhere, so stop crying about it. Don't try to turn it into baseball.

There's a writer for the Hockey News named Adam Proteau, and this guy has certainly caught my attention over the last month or so. This asshole actually had the balls to write that Matt Cooke has been victimized by his hit on March Savard. He goes on to state that the NHL encourages players to play on the edge and he shouldn't be held fully responsible for his actions. Next, he said that the NHL season is too long and leads to too many injuries. Okay, so not only is he an asshole, but he's a sissy-boy too. A couple weeks later, he had an article where he condemns the Habs/Bruins brawl because players could "suffer serious injury. In the same article, this piece of shit actually fucking calls out the NHL saying that the recent suspension to Matt Cooke is "an absolute joke and blight on the sport." Now he's a hypocrite too?

Fuck you in the fucking face, Adam Proteau. The Hockey News Twitter consistently retweets his personal Twitter postings (his twitter is @Proteautype). Guess who runs the Hockey News's official Twitter? Adam Fuck Face Proteau. He is giving us the impression that the Hockey News, a respected hockey source, shares his shitty sentiments. Asshole? Check. Pussy? Check. Hypocrite? You bet. Add bullshit liar to that list, too. I know that he will never read this, but this guy had me floored yesterday. End rant.

Just was to say hi to Tom out in the desert (Kuwait maybe?). Stay safe and keep following the B's.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Bruins 8, Canadiens 6: New. Best. Game. EVER.

I have to stop watching the Bruins. Why waste my time? They will never have an awesome game like this ever again, right?

If you are a Bruins fan (you must be, why else would you be here) and you missed tonight's game, you have a couple options. First, the obvious. Second, stop reading and watch "Bruins In Two" on NESN at midnight.

Okay, lets get started. First off I'd like to say HOLY GOD DAMN SHITTY FUCKING SHIT. I have never seen a game like that. Sure, we've all seen the games with the huge brawls at the end, but tonight's game had 14 goals and 192 penalty minutes, including a goofy, awkward goalie "fight". (Note: The official score sheet says 192 PIM, but Campbell's fighting major isn't listed, which leads me to believe this number could go up. Basically this score sheet says that he beat Pyatt's ass and didn't get a penalty, but Pyatt did. The PIM totals will probably change a couple times.) Just off the top of my head, fights by Thomas, Krejci, Thornton, Ference, Boychuk, Thomas and Campbell, plus Horton, Recchi, Marchand and McQuaid tried their hardest to find a willing dance partner.

As I sat down to watch this game, I said to my girlfriend "They're playing the Canadiens tonight; don't expect any fights". This game was chippy and physical from the get-go. After the awesome Dallas game, I thought that they would be all fought-out for a few games. I couldn't have been more wrong. Look, I enjoy the physical part of hockey. I like it when guys stick up for their teammates. I like big hits. I like fights and I REALLY like brawls. But who doesn't? I think everyone can at least agree that it makes the game a lot more exciting. Lately, the Habs have gotten the best of the Bruins, but they turned it around tonight. I couldn't have asked for a better game to watch, and especially handing out an ass kicking (literally) to their most hated rivals. What was there, three seperate brawls? I lost track. You know this is a good game if I immediately go write my shitty article.

The Bruins are the toughest team to play against. I don't care what you say. This is my blog, so I'm always right. This team will kick you in the dick, score 5 goals, then come out and kick it again. Officially, they have the most fighting majors in the NHL this season with 52, and already have 5 more than they did all of last season. This team is willing to fuck you up at any time. They have 16 different players with fighting majors this year, up from 10 last year. Not only can they fight, and fight well, but they are starting to click with the goal scoring, which was a disaterous problem last year. If they add a goal scorer by the trade deadline (Matt Moulson? Mike Fisher? Who knows?), this team could be scarey good.(I just watched the video again. Campbell and Boychuck absolutely tuned up Pyatt and Spacek. Ouch.) If they can continue to just goon it up in every game, expect a lot of room to skate and make plays on the ice. I LOVE the style of play from them in the last couple weeks. They look like a bunch of fucking criminals out there. It's the best, Jerry, the best!

I like when the Bruins score goals too. They matched their season high with goals by Marchand, Seidenberg, McQuaid, and Horton, and both Ryder and  Lucic scored two a piece. Tim Thomas....kinda sucked, but he didn't suck worse than Carey Price and hey, a win is a win.
This wasn't nearly as cool as this picture suggests.
So yeah, Timmy skated out to center ice, much to my delight. I was literally squealing like a teenage girl who just spotted Justin Beiber at the local mall. I was not a fan of what happened next: They each shook hands, poured a glass of lemonade, and laid down for a nap at center ice. Carey was the little spoon.

There you have it. Just mayhem all over the ice. The Bruins play their best when they are kicking ass. I can't wait to see what goons the Habs call up for these two's next game...which is March 8 in Montreal. Expect part II. I'm probably forgetting a bunch of stuff that I wanted to say, but what a good fucking game.

I forgot to mention that I got to meet Chara the other day. He was very nice and very huge, with long, pterodactyl-like arms. I asked him what he said to Steve Ott to get a misconduct the other night. He said "Not much really, you'd be surprised."
Also, feel free to recommend this blog, post it on your facebook, tweet it, etc. I want to feel like my dumb ranting is being enjoyed by some fans.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Sharks 2, Bruins 0.

(No photo today. I'm not going to waste my time stealing a photo online from a reputable source, then editing it in photoshop, then posting it)

To be honest, I didn't rush to put up this post (not that I normally do) but after the other night against Dallas, yesterday's, and all games in the forseeable future will pale in comparison.

This post isn't going to be very long, because there isn't much to talk about. The Bruins played decent, but were unable to score. Their rookie guy scored on a bit of a garbage goal, on a play that i felt should have been stopped due to Recchi getting tripped in front of the opposite goal seconds earlier. The Bruins couldn't do anything on the power play, partially because the Sharks have a very aggressive penalty kill. McQuaid lost a fight. Thorty dropped the gloves with Jamal Mayers (much to my delight. Mayers is a piece of shit), but the hero linesmen had to break it up. LET THEM FIGHT. Timmy played allright. The defense played great. Despite the pluses, the B's just can't seem to beat Joe Thornton and the Sharks.

That's it. The Bruins host les deuchebaguettes on Wednesday. Who knows, maybe we'll see Camalleri/Krejci II. I'm gonna go watch the Super Bowl. Hopefully a rapist won't win this year.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Bruins 6, Stars 3. Best. Game. Ever.

This is what got it all started.

Okay, where to begin? Last time Dallas came to the TD Garden, it was pandemonium. That was back in the 08/09 season, so things like that don't really carry over, right?

One second in the game, Campbell looks to get some revenge on Steve Ott for a chickenshit cheapshot from last season. Despite getting his nose broken, Campbell landed some good ones of his own.

Two seconds in the game, and not to be outdone, Thornton and Barch go at it with Thorty landing uppercut after uppercut in a decisive win. At this point, the Garden crowd is going crazy.

Now a mere four seconds in, McQuaid and Sutherby go at it, and the Lone Wolf promptly ruins Sutherby's shit. TKO for McQ. The Garden crowd is now at a near-riot.

Then you have goals by Lucic and Bergeron, then another fight, this one between Andy Ference andAdam Burish. Another good, quick fight, with Ference getting the TKO. After that, Bergie scored his second of the game, and Thornton added a laser up under the crossbar. You got all that?

And if you missed it:  


In the second and third, it turned into more of a normal game. Seguin and Marchand added goals for the B's. Rask was in net and looked great in the first two periods, but looked shaky in the third. Its good because if the Stars came back from a 4-0 deficit, I was going to have to go on a murder spree.

The Bruins always play their best hockey when they are knocking other teams' dicks in, and last night was no exception. They fought, threw big hits and scored goals, all necessities in my book. The only thing that would have made this game better was if Rask and Lehtonen skated out to center ice and scrapped. I can dream, can't I?

So when did Daniel Paille get this huge chip on his shoulder? He destroyed Raymond Sawada on a hit from the side, and I'm pretty sure he will get a suspension for it. It was a borderline hit, but it's the kind of hit that the NHL wants to get rid of. It looked a lot like the Cooke on Savard hit, only without the headshot. He got a match penalty, but the Bruins were able to kill off the five minute major.

Couple of standout bullshit calls. The first was the 10 minute misconduct for Chara and Ott, for talking I guess? Some of these refs are a bunch of fucking babies. Let them play for Christ's sake. The other was the goal by McQuaid that was called back because of goaltender interference on Wheeler. When I was watching the game and I sent my pal Casey the following text message:
"Oh yeah and that Wheeler goaltender interference is the worst call I've ever seen."
And it was. I couldn't help but laugh. Just fucking dumb. Blah.

The Bruins kicked ass last night. It's one of those games that people will remember for a long time. Remember in two years when the Stars come back to the Garden, snatch up some tickets. The Bruins take on the shitty Sharks tomorrow. They need to keep this mean streak going. Fuck yeah!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Bruins 3, Hurricanes 2: Goodbye Mark and Marc?

“Oh, yeah. I enjoy the constant booing for jumping ship for a couple more dollars.”
Shawn Thornton, on whether he enjoys the Boston crowd booing Phil Kessel
In case you haven't seen "Things Shawn Thornton Has Said", go check it out here.

The All Star Break is over. Lets run down the highlights: Big Z shoots really hard. Record-settingly hard. Timmy fell down, then got his third All Star Game win in a boring game with zero physicality. Final score: 147 to 89. Phil Kessel got picked last. Yadda yadda yadda. I wish they could play Olympic hockey every year.

Stay down.

Anyways, the Bruins are back and got the second half started in the right direction with a good win over Carolina last night. A couple good things happened that we haven't seen in a while: Danny Paille took a break from trying to fight guys who are over 6'3" and scored a goal. Nathan Horton.... well, he scored a goal too. And finally, Looch fought somebody!

Paille had a nice deflection to notch his first of the year. Horton broke out of the slump and finally netted one. Hopefully he can turn this into a nightly affair, similar to the beginning of the season. Lucic fought Jay Harrison, and it was over quick. Not much of a fight because the refs broke it up quickly. Good thing for Harrison, because last time these two fought, Lucic handed him his ass.

Another good thing I saw from last night: Steven Kampfer green-lighting Skinner the Beginner with .02 seconds left in the first. That was quite a nice Mark Stuart-esque shot. Oh yeah, speaking of which...

Marc Stuart. He was a healthy scratch again last night. I think this is pretty much the end for him in Boston. At the end of last year, he was one of three guys I really wanted Boston to re-sign, along with Recchi and Thornton. With Stuart getting hurt and with guys like McQuaid and Kampfer stepping up, it looks like the Bruins will use him as trade bait. I like Stuart a lot. I like the kind of hockey he plays. He seems to have a genuine disdain for his opponents. He loves to catch forwards with their heads down, and is good for some entertaining fights and doesn't back down from too many players. If he does go, I hope they send him to a west coast team so he doesn't punish our forwards. To be honest, I'd rather them ship Ference out (whom I also like), but no one is going to take his big contract. I hope the Cave Man doesn't leave, but it's not looking too good. What a perfect segway...

...Mark Savard! They are talking about shutting him down for the season. I think this is the obvious choice. He's not going to get well enough to be a help to the team. If they can put him on long term IR, then they can use his cap space to get a rental player. One of the names that have been thrown around is Zach Parise. If he is healthy, fuck it, pick him up.

Timmy is having the best year ever so far! Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating:
"Thomas is now dropping jaws in the hockey world from Sunrise, Fla., to Thunder Bay with the greatest season by a goaltender in the modern NHL era through the All-Star break with less than 40 games remaining to be played. Thomas leads the NHL with a 1.88 goals against average, a .945 save percentage and seven shutouts." (From
Looks like my Thomas ass-kissing is well warranted.

The Bruins play at home tonight against the Stars. Hopefully the game goes like it did back in 2008. If you haven't seen this before, watch the whole thing, it's good:

Looking forward to Steve Ott coming back to the Garden!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Bruins 2, Panthers 1: Thomas for president!

This is your Hart Trophy leader.
A good way to start the All-Star Break. The B's beat the Panthers last night 2-1. Goals by Marchand (again) and Lucic (also again) were the difference. Looch got his 20th of the season, and now if he can remember to fight every now and then, he will be awesome. Marchand is doing nothing but putting up points. This kid is having a great rookie year.

You know who else is having a good year? Of course you do. Holy shit, if we didn't have Tim "Fine Wine" Thomas, we would be in a four way tie with Toronto, New Jersey and the Islanders. Maybe not that bad, but the reason the Bruins are in first is because this guy is keeping them in every game. Just watch. He's insane.

I ask a question of you Bruins fans, and seriously, comment your answer below. Maybe I don't get it, so make me understand. Why the constant booing of Dennis Wideman? Do you think he wanted to leave Boston? Especially for the Panthers? They boo this guy to no end, yet he was a decent player who clearly enjoyed his time in Boston, wanted to stay, and got traded to a shitty team. Why boo? He was great in the playoffs for the B's last year after having a bit of a rough season. The year before that, he had a 50 point season (+34). He's not a Bruin anymore, but he's not a bad guy. He gets booed like hes Phil Fucking Kessell. What gives?

Also, Marc Savard, you should probably retire while you can still feed yourself.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

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Kings 2, Bruins 0: Should have gone to bed.

This was the scene from the Staples Center last night.

Wow, I'm glad I stayed up late for that. Watching that game last night was, as Jim Norton said, like watching Peter Fonda pick blueberries. I went to bed in a pissy mood now I'm dragging ass today. Great.

They might as well give Tim Thomas the Vezina now. He gave up two goals, but managed to get the third star of the game. This guy is completely insane in the net. The score could have just as easily been 7-0 last night. I am completely off the Rask bandwagon now. Tuuka who?

Thornton fought with Kyle Clifford in a real good tilt, which saw Clifford sport a nice shiner for the rest of the game.

A couple other thoughts: Blake Wheeler looks like Timothy McVeigh, and Michal Handzus looks like a rapist.

What else can I say? They weren't terrible, but they were a flat and couldn't get anything going offensively. It didn't help that Jonathan Quick played great for LA, who certainly have the Bruins number.

A boring update on a boring game. Sorry. Hopefully tomorrow night's game will be a little more interesting.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Bruins 6, Avalanche 2: Still lookin' good (unless you are Marc Savard).

He's so good he now plays the whole defensive zone.

After a little hiccup against Buffalo the other night, the Bruins knocked the Avalanche around yesterday afternoon (Side note: a lot of these little hiccups seem to coincide with Rask in net. Hmmmm). Timmy played another great game, and the Bruins offense has been lighting it up lately. In the last 12 games, the Bruins have averaged 4 goals per game. Those kind of numbers will allow you to rack up wins, and yesterday was no exception. Marchand and Lucic each had two goals and Recchi and Bergeron also scored.

For real, how good is the Marchand/Bergeron/Recchi line? They are simply on fire. Every night it seems this line is putting up at least four or five points (they put up 10 in Denver). Claude Julien is looking like a god damn genius for bringing up Marchand and sending down Wheeler. Wheels is a different guy from last year and the beginning of this year. I think a little Thornton is rubbing off on him, because if you watch the game, you see him chirping and shit talking constantly (God help him if he gets into a fight though). Campbell had a good little bout against a bigger guy in Cody McLeod, and the fight seemed to spark the B's to a couple of quick goals.

You know who didn't score any goals? David Krejci and Nathan Horton. Didn't they used to do that? At least they are getting assists. (side note: Bullshit. EVERYONE gets assists.) Speaking of not scoring....

So Marc Savard got hurt. Again. Former Bruin Matt Hunwick laid a good hit on him and Savard smashed his face off the dasher. *Sigh* Poor Marc. This guy obviously isn't the same since the Matt Cooke hit. If you are the other team, you want to give the guy a little room on the ice, but you can't treat him with kid gloves. To me, it looks like the beginning of the end. He has a very un-Savard 10 points in 25 games, and he's at a dog shit -7. To be honest, ol' glass head is hurting the team at this point, but I don't know what they can do to get rid of him because he is a huge cap hit and no one is going to want an older forward with concussion problems. He's in a tight spot and I think retirement is definitely on the horizon. Too bad because I thought that with the addition of Horton earlier in the year, those two would be a dominating force. Kind of makes you think the Bruins should have went after Kovalchuk, huh? (just kidding).

The B's take on the Latin LA Kings on Monday night. Don't forget, it's a 10 pm start.
If you like this blog, then I invite you to check out this other great Bruins blog "THE BIG BAD BRUINS".

Friday, January 21, 2011

Bruins 3, Hurricanes 2 and Sabres 4, Bruins 2

The guy in the front row says it all.

Sorry for the lack of update after Tuesday night's game. I had a funeral to attend on Wednesday and, yeah who cares, I didn't update. The Bruins finished the sweep of the Canes the other night and we can all thank Thomas for that as he ran around the crease like a fucking madman. I thought the Hurricanes would come out like the NVA in 1968, but then I remembered that it's the Hurricanes, no sight of Charlie anywhere. Goals for Johnny Upchuk, Marchand and the game winner by Looch were the difference, as the B's held on after kicking Carolina's ass the night before.

Last night's game against Buffalo was a little different. The Bruins have dropped three straight games to these retards. Every time, they start strong, and fade at the end. I'm glad that prick Drew Stafford wasn't there to get another hat trick. Seidenberg and Campbell scored for the B's, who looked good, but not great, like they did in the past few games. The fourth line continues to look sharp. I think putting Wheeler down there has lit a fire under his ass, even though he had been playing well before getting sent down. Thornton picked up his fifth assist which gives him 12 points on the season, a new career high. Campbell his getting better and  better and is looking to be a great bargain since coming from Florida.

Rask was also okay, not great, but not terrible. Boy he sure cooled off in a hurry last May, huh?

The Sabres were able to tie it up in the second on the power play after a bullfuckingshit penalty on Blake Wheeler for goaltender interference. The replays showed Miller clearly initiating contact and knocking Wheels off balance. Not an excuse for the loss, but it sent me into a shit fit for about ten minutes.

Anyways, the stupid Bruins play the dumb Alvalanche tomorrow afternoon. Say hi to Matt Hunwick for me. Maybe Horton and Krejci can try something different and score goals. You know, because they play hockey?
Speaking of Thornton, I got to meet him the other day and got some shit signed. Next up, Big Z in two weeks! (What a douche I am)

Monday, January 17, 2011

Bruins 7, Hurricanes 0: Lookin' good.

Whew. Today's game took a little sting out of watching the Patriots shit the bed last night, huh? The B's are finally firing on all cylinders as they embarrassed the Canes today, 7-0. Big Z came away with his first ever hat trick to join Bobby Orr, Ray Bourque and Glen Wesley as the only Bruins defensemen to get a trick. Mark Stuart returned from his hand injury to score the first goal of the game. The other goal scorers were Bergeron, Campbell and Ryder, all three who have been playing their asses off and putting up points.

McQuaid had a little bout with Troy Bodie after delivering a high hit to Stuart in the third. The Lone Wolf stepped in and beat some ass as Stuart's hand probably isn't 100%, and knowing his shit luck, he'd break it on the first punch he threw. McQ got the decisive win.

Timmy got the shutout, his league-leading 7th of the season. If he keeps it up, he will be a lock for the Vezina. He has been playing unbelievably well in goal. What a turnaround from last year.

The team looks sharp and focused, and it couldn't be coming at a better time. They are starting to put a gap between them and the Habs, and are currently third in the Eastern Conference. Hopefully the can deliver a drubbing to the Canes again, as they play them in N.C. tomorrow night.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Penguins 3, Bruins 2: .........

The best part of this picture is the beer in mid-spill.
God damn it. That was a great game. I really wanted them to pull this one out today, but you can't come back against the Penguins in the third EVERY game. I'm sitting here with writer's block trying to think of someone to shit on, but I'm drawing a blank. Everyone played hard and contributed but they just weren't able to tie the game up. Seidenberg and Ryder had goals for the B's, two in 13 seconds. I think it was Ryder that had two shots in the third that went off the post. Another inch one way and the game might have been a  lot different. That's the way it goes sometimes. A loss is still a loss, but I am surprisingly proud of the Bruins today.

Okay, enough of that soft shit. Did you see Kampfer get his nose knocked in? Holy shit that looked painful! The best part was that Dupuis took a 4 minute penalty for it, even though it was Chara's stick that hit him. The blown call was all for naught, as the Bruin's power play looked sub-par. I'd like to give a tip of the cap to Gregory Campbell, who dropped the gloves with Craig Adams and knocked his fucking block off.

Kris Letang is the toughest guy on the ice, after the whistle and when the refs are close by. Just wanted to throw that out there.

Let's not forget that sack of shit Matt Cooke was challenged by McQ and Boychuk, but the eternal tough-guy wouldn't oblige, similar to when he wouldn't take off his helmet and visor when Thorty came looking for him. Says a lot.

Speaking of Thornton, I get to go meet him tomorrow in Manchester, NH. Hopefully he will sign a photo and punch me in the face.

Next up for the Bruins: Monday at home against Carolina at 1 pm.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Bruins 7, Flyers 5: My left arm is tingling...

I may be a Shawn Thornton fan boy, but this is a good god damn picture.

Watching last night’s game was a perfect metaphor for being a Bruins fan. They suck. They rule. They show signs of domination. They blow a lead. Smart play. Dumb play. Over and over. One of the best and worst games all year. One minute I’m cheering, the next minute I’m screaming at the dogs (because it’s their fault, you know?). This back and fourth shit is going to lead to a heart attack with a stroke thrown in for good measure.

They seem to have found their scoring touch. In the last 3 games, they have posted 17 goals. Last night the B’s had points by 12 players, including goals by SEVEN different guys: Chara, Bergeron, Recchi, Ryder, Marchand, Kampfer and Campbell. Lets focus on them.

Big Z: Looks like he may have gotten his head out of his ass, as he has been putting up some points lately. Also got named to the All-Star team because he is 9 feet tall.

Bergie: This guy is a total stud right now. He has like 148 points in his last 9 games (or something like that).

Old Man: At 42, this old bastard is not only relevant, but one of the best players on the team. If he isn’t hustling to the net, that third goal would never have gone in.

Ryder: Was in a scoring drought, nice to see him hit the back of the net.

Marchand: Continues to get better and better. This guy is such an asshole on the ice, its hilarious. And even better, he skates hard and scores goals. I thought that he would be a fourth-liner all season, but he is proving he belongs up with Bergeron. Thornton and Campbell probably miss him, but Danny “The Hammer” Paille is making a few plays.

Kampfer: Holy shit, this guy. When he got called up, I was thinking “Okay, this kid will fill in for a while, then be gone when Stuart comes back.” Now, the Bruins brass will have a big decision to make when Stuart gets healthy. Scoring the game winner last night certainly helps his cause (and knocking Scott Hartnell on his ass doesn’t hurt either).

Campbell: Seems to be there when you need an empty-netter. Good fourth line guy.

And let’s not forget Thomas. Timmy, why do you do this to us? Only this guy will shut out a team one night, and give up five the next. Oh well, fuck it. The bruins still got the win and beat a really good Flyers team.

Thorty fought with Jody Shelley (for you non-hockey fans, that’s a dude) and both looked okay in a decent fight. Thornton usually gives up height and weight, and this was no exception. Both guys threw some and ate some.

My homeboy Dan Carcillo wasn’t out on the ice (healthy scratch or Carcillo flu?). Can’t Flyers fans just admit that this guy sucks? Jeremy, I'm looking in your direction.

The Bruins play the Pens on Saturday (don't forget, 1PM matinee start) and Crosby or not, hopefully will kick the shit out of them and keep this train rolling.


The NHL released the Bruins-themed comic book nerd superhero today. It looks more like a werewolf than a bear. And why is he dressed like he's going to a gay dance club?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Bruins 6, Senators 0

I want games like this every night.

There's no mincing words; the B's kicked the Senators ass last night, plain and simple. Bergie had his first ever hat trick, and Marchand (who is improving every game), Dunkin-Donuts-hawkin' Seguin and Wheeler (still running around like a raped ape! Awesome!) also had tallies. Timmy got the shutout again and wasn't tested too much. They looked dominating out there and despite playing a lowly team like Ottawa, hopefully they can use this as momentum and play like this regularly.

And to be fair, the Senators suck. A lot. As always, they brought their physical game (the only one they have) and last night's game had 3 fights. First, Horton and Winchester had a quick tilt that escalated from some pushing and shoving. Next, Thornton went with Carkner and both landed some good punches in a great fight. The last fight, one of the most odd things I've seen this season, was Carkner dropping the gloves with Danny Paille. Yes, that Danny Paille. Carkner threw a couple punches that got all helmet and the refs came in to break it up before Paille got killed. At that point, Paille landed 3 solid bombs and knocked Carkner down. Ha ha, holy shit! Normally I don't like guys punching after the refs come in, but fuck Carkner for going after a small guy, totally unprovoked (and fuck him because he's Matt Carkner). That dumb shit got his meat head punched in, and he certainly wasn't happy about it (can't wait for the next B's/Sens game!).

The Bruins are 9-2-1 when Shawn Thornton fights, so that should tell you something. When they bring their tough game, they beat some asses. They will need that for Thursday when the Eastern leading Flyers come to town. Also, I'm calling it now. Thornton will chase Carcillo around all night, but that diving bag of shit won't oblige, just like always.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Bruins 4, Penguins 2: Five Minute Miracle

Wait, what?
"Big fucking win. Holy Shit"
-Casey, via text message
Truer words were never spoken. I got this text from my pal at the end of the game tonight, right after the B's put the finishing touches on a 4 goal 3rd period to beat the Penguins in Pittsburgh. Big fucking win, indeed.

After playing a piss-poor tilt on Saturday night and getting embarrassed by the Canadiens, it was looking like another long night. I was writing this blog in my head, ready to trash the team for their ATROCIOUS power play. I was steaming for 55 minutes of this game and just about ready to take it out on the girlfriend and/or dogs.

Then it happened: a goal. Then another. Then another. Then one more? I surely had to be in a drunken stupor. These assholes came back, but didn't blow it in overtime or get blanked in the shootout. They won - IN REGULATION!

They played well in the first, shitty in the second, and then shitty for 15 minutes in the third before goals by Chara, Marchand, Recchi (game winner, bitches) and an empty-netter by Campbell (who played his best game as a Bruin). If they could have the kind of effort they showed in the last 5 minutes and play the whole game like that, they would be a big problem for everyone else in the league.

And I'd like to praise Blake Wheeler. This guy played his ass off tonight and was motoring around, hitting like a motherfucker, and getting into little scrums. That's what I want to see. I guess he looked at himself in the mirror and was like "holy shit, I'm a big dude. I could crush people!" He played tough and physical tonight, and hopefully it will carry over into the rest of the season.

So congratulations boys, your five minute effort payed off. Get your rest because you play those silly Ontarian bastards in 17 hours.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Canadiens 3, Bruins 2 (OT): The day after.

The Lone Wolf beats Moen's ass.

First Period: Well, things got off to a slow start for both teams as there was a lot of missed passes and chasing the puck around. I would say that the Bruins played okay, but their power play was fucking HORRENDOUS. The game so far has been back and forth, as no one seems to want to really score. They had a couple good looks on goal. Timmy is playing well in net and has definitely kept his team in it on some turnovers. Adam "The Lone Wolf" McQuaid danced with Travis Moen after a little scrum in Timmy's crease. I didn't realize McQ had such a nice jab, as Moen took about eight of them in the mouth. Brian Gionta, whom I will hereon affectionately refer to as "Slash" is just another tough guy in a visor throwing sticks around behind the play. P.K. Subban looks like if Gary Coleman didn't have Focal Segmental Glomerulosclerosis (yep, I had to look that one up). Carey Price made some good stops. Hope he dies.

The Bruins need to work on connecting their passes a little better and stop fiddle-fucking around and get the puck in the offensive zone. I'd almost rather them not be on the Power Play at this point. I need a beer so I'll be back at the end of the second.

Is McQuaid trying to kick him in the nuts?

 Second Period: Well, Patrice Bergeron certainly came alive in the second. Early in the second, Bergie beat Price with a beauty, only to have it go off Mr. Crossbar. Did Patty hang his head? Fuck No! Not one, but two goals! The Bruins responded the way they needed to. They upped the tempo, they figured out what a pass was and how to execute one, and they scored some goals. With around five minutes left, there was a lot of good back and fourth hockey being played. The Bruins had a power play and it didn't look like a complete disaster, so any progress is still progress. Other than the pair of goals, not a lot happened. Timmy is still looking sharp. Blake Wheeler is (brace yourself) playing physical. They look good right now. We'll see how the third goes.

Sunday: Sorry that took so long. Right after the game I was dragging a stool across the garage, length of rope in hand, ready to go out like Brooks from Shawshank Redemption. After a change of heart, here I am.

WOW. That was stunning. After all the praise I gave the Bruins, they basically shut down with ten minutes left in the game. This team really knows how to blow a lead (See May, 2010), and they showed it last night. I still can't believe it. Granted both goals were total garbage (the first one deflected twice and went in and the second deflected off a skate), but that shit happens and they rolled over and died on the Bell Centre ice. The only good thing from late in the game was Chara going after an entire team after the winning goal. You could clearly see Scott Gomez go behind Chara and say "ha ha" (like a little bitchy girl on the playground, mind you) and Chara turned around and wiped the smile off his face.

Anyways, just an embarrassing loss. They are still in first in the division, but now tied with Montreal with both clubs having 49 points. They have 4 games this week. It's do or die now, for them and for suicidal fans.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Wild 3, Bruins 1: Points streak done.

Rask with an amazing stop, then prepares to let in a routine wrister.

The Minnesota Wild. What a boring, yet effective team. I don't think the Bruins have beaten a Minnesota team since they were the North Stars for Christ's sake. The Bruins ended their points streak with an equally boring loss to the Wild last night. Former Bruin Chuck Kobasew made his return to the Garden last night, and between 6-10 people noticed.

Steven Kampfer scored the lone goal for the B's off a nice feed by Bergie, but that was all the scoring they would do. Kampfer is looking great in his short time with the big team. He's not afraid to jump up in the play and has a nice shot, and he's being rewarded with points. The power play was pretty much non-existent after looking pretty good in the first. After that is was a good ol' fashioned shit show. Pucks were getting cleared left and right and the B's were standing there with their thumbs up their ass.

Shawn Thornton took what might be the worst blown call all year on a complete bull shit hooking call, which led to Minnesota's first goal. This was as blown of a call as you will ever see, and Thorts let the ref know it (as did Julien). Then Savard had a beautiful feed.... right to Cal Clutterbuck in the defensive zone, and he easily put it past Rask to take the lead. Koivu put in the empty-netter in the third.

I also don't want to let Rask off the hook either. Despite making a couple saves (and one amazing diving stop) he still let in a couple that looked routine. He has fallen a long way from where he was last year. Keep in mind he is 3-12-1 in his last 16 games (going back to the playoffs last year). Not good.

The Thornton "hooking" penalty really set the tone for a shitty game. These assholes (no disrespect) need to learn to face adversity and kick it in the nuts. They are a great team when they are beating the shit out of someone. And speaking of that, the Bruins take on the Canadiens in Montreal on Saturday with first place on the line. Get your heads out of your asses and please beat the shit out of them.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Bruins 2, Maple Leafs 1. Kessel strikes out....again.

Confucius says "The saddest leaf makes the happiest bear."
Ha ha Phil Kessel. You want so badly to stick it to the Bruins and score a goal, but lo and behold, you choked again! At this point, when he finally does score, no one will care, except for him. Anyways, the Leafs played hard last night and still managed to get beat. Bruins had goals by Horton and Savard, and it's nice to see those two back from their little vacation. Another breakdown lead to a breakaway goal by Grabovski, but that was about the only thing the B's did wrong. Another thing that pissed me off was the lack of physical play. The hit totals were 24-7 in favor of the Leafs. That's not even close.I think they were a little flat and could use a couple days off, as well as being in the comforts of the Garden for their tilt against the Wild on Thursday night. Anyways, I'm off to play Black Ops.

Three Douchebag Stars Of The Game (or three Leafs I hate):
        ★  Mike Komisarek. Come on, was there any other choice? Just looking at this retard's face make me want to see Looch punch it in again. You almost feel bad for him when you see him acting tough after the whistle. Its just a matter of time before he makes the mistake of taking on Lucic again, and I can't wait.
    ★★  Dion Phaneuf. Another mongoloid defense douche. He looks like a bad video game rendering of a real person. He is a master at the behind-the-play slash, and a graduate from the Steve Montador Huggy Bear Fighting School.
  Colby Armstrong. Is this guy an agitator? After every play he takes a little crosscheck here, a little slash there. Someone should just bury this guy. Plus he looks like he belongs in the Ozarks, shirtless toting a shot gun.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Sabres 7, Bruins 6 (SO): Just kill me now.


Jesus Christ, where do I begin. If you were watching the Winter Classic last night, you probably missed the shit show in Buffalo. I've had a day to digest, and now is as good a time as ever to vent.

The Good: It looks like the Bruins aren't having any trouble with offense as they scored 6 goals (Ference, Seidenberg, Marchand, Chara, Seguin and Kampfer) and set a team record with four different defensemen scoring.

The Bad: While the defense was out scoring goals, no one was playing fucking defense (including the Rask, who was yanked after one period, and Thomas). And can someone please cover Drew Stafford? This asshole has scored two hat tricks in the last two games against the Bruins. Not to mention the Sabres tied the game with 28 seconds left, with the goalie pulled. And yep, the shootout again. Thomas let in ALL THREE SHOTS. Miller barely did any better, letting up 2 out of 3. Last night's game was a "who is the shittier goalie" contest.

The Fucking Terrible: I try not to complain about the refs, but holy shit. Ference gets tripped in the defensive zone, clear as fucking day, and no call while Ference is on the ice, Buffalo scores. Then the bullshit call on Boychuk for tripping on incidental contact near the net, and it leads to a power play goal. Terrible officiating. I know NESN is a total homer network, but they continued to blast the refs throughout the game (even nice guy Brick).

At least they got a point, and that means points in their last 5 games. They take on Toronto on Monday night. Hopefully they can get their defense in check and go out there kick the balls off the Leafs.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Some thoughts on the Winter Classic:

1. Shittsburgh was a dud. Shit city, shit weather, shit football stadium.
2. Decent game, not great. Good fight by Rupp and Erskine.
3. So glad to see the Pens lose.
4. If anyone ever said Crosby is a bitch, I think last night sealed it. Boo hoo, you lost, you little crybaby. He starts throwing sticks around with under 10 seconds left, and then is a tough guy with everyone holding him back. That game would have been great if it ended in a huge donnybrook.
5. Neither of the NHL's precious superstars scored. That bitch Crosby got knocked on his ass, and Ovechkin had a goal taken away because of goaltender interference. Oh my god, you mean there are other guys on the Capitals and Penguins?
6. HBO's 24/7 show about the lead up to the Winter Classic is a great fucking show and you all should be watching it.