Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Ducks 3, Bruins 0

Nice defense, dick.

If you are a Bruins fan that likes zero offense, no forecheck and uninspiring, emotionless play, then last night's game was just for you! With a chance to rocket five, i repeat FIVE positions up in the Eastern Conference, the Bruins laid a fat fucking egg right on the TD Garden ice. Jonas Hiller stopped all 45 Boston shots, most of which he didn't have to move for. The extent of Boston's offense was Shawn Thornton ringing the post on a rebound opportunity (probably the first and only rebound they jumped on all god damn night). The defense wasn't much better. Dennis Seidenburg was a minus 3 and, holy shit, Tim Thomas is human.

Steve Kampfer had an interesting night when he took a Teemu Selane check which launched him headfirst into the boards. It looked like his shit was ruined for sure, but like Adam McQuaid a couple weeks ago, he was able to get up and later return to the game. Bruins defensemen are tough, I'll give them that.

In the second, Gregory Campbell tried to energize the team by fighting Kyle Chipchura. It didn't work. Nothing worked. Blake Wheeler led the team in hits for Christ's sake. They were flat all game and I found myself more interested in Angry Birds than seeing pass after pass miss their mark (to be fair, Angry Birds is the shit). If you missed the game, you didn't miss much. If you went to the game, at least you might have gotten a free Rene Rancourt singing christmas ornament!

The Bruins play Big Buff and the Thrashers on Thursday. Hopefully they can avoid an ass-kicking, take their Christmas vacation, and come back ready to fuck some people up (hopefully Stuart will be back soon).

1 comment:

  1. Nailed it. and damn it all i wanted one of those ornaments!